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| so. What just happened here?
Hm.
JON DIED.
Just kidding. At least his xanga did.
go to this one, kiddies.
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| so. "Why doesn't Jon just stop trying to stall and just frikkin post already?" Because, y'know, he sucks like that.
And, he also saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And he frikkin loved it. Tim Burton is his hero from now on, and Jon wants to point out the oompa loompas were awesome, the art direction was sexy, and the SQUIRRELS THAT PWN EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE OF THIS PUKKING WORLD really did pwn. alot. He likes the Bucket's cottage. Because it's so slanted and awesome and it wreaks sexiness. And, by the way, Jon's stupid and wanted to say that it was cool how Johnny Depp's make-up varied in thickness in each scene.
He finished Psycho Ology, and came into class that one day with Agoraphobia, the disorder that brings an onset of panic attacks from being in public situations that are hard to escape from. He ran out of the classroom three times because it seemed cool at the time, and it added pizazz to his disorder. But he's pissed 'cause he got a 89.99999 (again). Finals suck, he says. But the second half consisted of GAMECUBE Melee (which he sucked at), but he redeemed himself when someone pulled out Soul Caliber II. Which he has spent countless hours playing, even if it's two years outdated by now. Hey, cut him some slack, he's cooler than you'll ever be. 
So. It is August.
And Jon's dad is a year older but he's getting younger. Huh?
And this is the month of birthdays. Including Jon's. [cough] the fifteenth. Because he was urged to make a wishlist because he's never had a party of his own (unless you count Chuck E Cheese family parties of Chuck E's molestation), and has no idea what to do.
A day of Raging Waters watching over cousins was splendid, says Jon. Just the ground seemed to suck, being hot and rocky and all. And since Raging Waters is a breeding ground for shoving chunky jerks, Jon was bitter for a bit. But then he ate funnel cake. So that was okay.
And, he still needs his permit.
he's found it pretty interesting how he's been able to write more while typing in THIRD PERSON, people.
Jon also wants to point out he misses Grape.
And all you other guys. If you guys ever existed. [schizophrenic, yo]
-Jon
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| Another day. Another movie review. oh. And also my first comeback after missing out on every get together since the very beginning of summer. It has been a month, people. And I feel like jigging.
Happy birthday, Tiffany, you're another year older and closer to dying. Which means I'm gonna paint for you. Same goes for you Ivy, who didn't get anything from me yet 'cause I sucked really badly.
Okay, so time for a wtf moment, ya?
Ricky, the pom that I have mourned for months since his death, is not dead. Yes, you are probably going, "what?" Well.. my mom confesses she was trying to test me to see whether I noticed when she exchanged him with a white pom and said he was bleached white. There was an assumption that I didn't care or really pay too much attention to him. Ha... But her test failed miserably, because. The next day, "Ricky" drowned. And I was devastated for so long... yet she never told me. So she brought back the real Ricky from the pet store because no one had taken him, with no charge. So. Ricky had white marks under his chin (which would've been impossible to discover considering he was bleached). And I didn't have time (less than a frikkin day) to notice that he sits with his hindlegs separated and his tummy's rough, yo.
So, I look at this dog. This.. Ricky-lookalike. And when I see the white marks, and scratch his belly. It's Ricky.
But. Yay the party was great. Watched BATTLE ROYALE because Dream brought it. From EBAY and all.
Battle Royale is the most traumatizing movie I've ever seen in my life. A class of 9th graders. Forced to kill each other off in three days. Hum. Because I'm starting to ask myself... since when did my xanga become a review site? Don't my peers want MY life? Nah. But, meh, here's a better review. But, hey, I'm even more in love with Chiaki Kuriyama/Go Go now. Because she kicked ass.
I really desire the DVD now. And the english translation of the book. Because, y'know, I can't read Japanese and all. Shh.
 <<Chiaki as she destroys. You.
A-
Hm. then we swam. And ate some nice spaghetti. Mm. My bike just happens to still be at their house. Gawd.
And woot, freshmen making themselves look amusing.
What more can you ask for?
Cept I seemed not so HYPER and poop because ja.. my brother is ashamed and all.
Hm. I wanna watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Willy Wonka, you Johnny-Depp-pedophiliac-with-Marilyn-Manson-inspired-make-up, you're hawt, dammit.
wiit.
whoops.
woot.
-Jon
wants your ____________.
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| Dude. My xanga has been resexified. Oh man, I can't wait to post something that sexifies it all over again. But jeebus, that won't happen in a bajillion years. 'cause this dude [points to self] just happens to suck hippos.
Psycho Ology! class is great. Even as an alternate class, I love how we've only got 11 people since they decided to cut out sophomores this summer. Now the teacher knew my name in less than a week. Damn that's hot.
Hokai. So I've seen quite some movies. Now to rant. Jon's gonna rant. And he misses Graek. :)
Batman Begins happens to be the greatest superhero movie that surpasses even Spider-man 2. Sorry, Emme, but dude, Christian Bale is the man. Woot it doesn't continue off from any of the previous Batman movies and it's the first good one. Batman from Tim Burton was meh... alright, modest at best. But MAN they finally got it right. Score for DC Comics, whores.
A-
Fantastic Four just happens to be the greatest movie to spoof and crack up. It's one of those disgusting flops that you can see from a mile away. Like Baby Geniuses 2. Jeebus. Jessica Alba is great but dude.. she doesn't fit the role of Susan Storm, and she did horribly in the acting part. The lines suck, the Human Torch (or fork) is lame and annoys the living hell out of me. It insults those comics I loved. The Thing had some potential character development that could've reached out to people, but no. They didn't emphasize anything. Okay, so the wife is a total superficial whore. It was executed so horribly. And aiya... Lame graphics, yo. But who cares, it's got Alba with the worst line of the movie: "C'mon Susan, let's not fight." "NO, LET's." [farts]
C/C+
Howl's Moving Castle was brilliant, like any other Miyazaki movie ever created. So this was Miyazaki's first adaption of something that wasn't his own material. That was new to people. It embraced the complexity of the world that the original author (dude.. if only I remembered). The details of the backgrounds and the character's personalities were magnificent in every way. It might not have been as good as it could've been, considering Miyzaki's movies usually focused on the depth of a somewhat simple story with vivid characters, and this one required making a much more complex world that was not created by himself. But it's great for any Miyazaki fan or animation lover, even for those who hate anime. Dude, you can never hate the creator of Totoro.
A-
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I'm getting lazy because I typed three reviews. But, ha. Angelina, woot. Brad. meh. But it was ok overall. Considering I watched it twice while in Boston on my uncle's laptop.
B
And meanwhile, Jon has only just discovered the hot gameplay of Soul Caliber II after being in the shadows of PS2 for two years. Gawd he's lame. But addicted.
Jon should be doing a script for his Psycho Ology project for his group members 'cause it is due Wednesday, but he has encountered quite a jerk for the first time in a long while. And he isn't too glad. [loads cannon]
 and he's got the hots for this conformist item. Because it's got Dumbledore. You bastards all suck for killing it.
More updates soon, whores.
-Jon misses you guys
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| this is to say. I'm not dead. | | |
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